Finding my Internal Fashionista

I have never been a fashionista - never paid attention to current styles or knew much about designers. Probably because I couldn't afford to keep up. I usually just went to the Mall Department Stores and shopped the sale racks, trying to strike a balance between what I thought looked good on the mannequins and what I could actually buy. And I never accessorized! I grew up a tomboy (usually carrying a ball or glove instead of a purse) and jewelry just wasn't an option. I would often see other ladies with wrists stacked with baubles and bangles and think, "she looks really great, but I could never pull off a look like that"! In some ways, I felt like Anne Hathaway's character in "The Devil Wears Prada." Not that I laughed at or despised the fashion industry, just that I didn't really fit in. Then all that changed last November. When I opened my consignment shop, I was constantly surrounded by great clothes in an unlimited variety of styles and tastes. I began to try things on that I would have never attempted before. Some nights, I locked the doors at 7pm and stayed another hour having my own personal fashion show. I also began researching styles and trends, reading fashion blogs and learning about designers. I was after all, now a part of the fashion world (albeit, a very small part). I was being asked daily for advice on what shoes to wear with these pants and what top to wear with this skirt. It became my duty to learn as much as I could (and to look the part while I was at it). I learned that my personal style is a combination of classic and boho-chic (although one quiz labeled me as "subtly sexy" ) hmmm, I think I like that one. Anyway, I am finding that taking a few fashion risks is fun. And trying new outfits has had a surprising effect on my self confidence. It's like I've been on my own personal episode of "What Not to Wear" and come out with a whole new attitude along with my whole new wardrobe. And this is exactly what I want to share with other women. The fact that a great variety of designer styles is made available to women at a fraction of mall prices means that everyone can have this experience. We can all afford to own great clothes, without waiting for them to hit the clearance rack. Not sure about your personal style? I found Pinterest to be a valuable tool in determining what appealed to me and gave me a starting point. Follow me at http://pinterest.com/tammyberning/ Or just come see me. At Ms. Mulligan's, I have a variety of great styles - vintage, classic, preppy, boho-chic, edgy, hippie, futuristic, etc. I'd love to help you find your internal fashionista!

My Style - Boho Chic or Subtly Sexy?

   

Happy Mother's Day!

Thanks Mom for all you do for me!  I love you!

Me and my mom Sandi at Cracker Barrel, April 2012

The First Dream

My very earliest and most important dream in life was to be a mom.  I can still remember being 8 years old and making the declaration to my parents that I wished I was pregnant.  Clearly I didn't express this correctly, as I'm sure I was just trying to say that I couldn't wait to be a mom. (Perhaps I just figured out why my parents were sooooo strict during my high school years, hmmmm).

Anyway, as a teenager, I took advantage of any opportunity to be around kids from babysitting every weekend, to working in the church nursery and vacation bible school.  I wanted a family of my own more than anything.  When my Jamie was born nearly 17 years ago, it was the happiest moment of my life.  A year and a half later, Zach was born and it was absolutely the lowest...he came 5 weeks early and nearly died.  He was born, then quickly whisked away to the NICU to be evaluated and treated.  I sent my family to the hospital cafeteria and sat in recovery all alone.  I was supposed to be bonding with my new baby boy - instead I was completely terrified, angry and grieving.  When we saw him again later that night, he was on a ventilator and had needles sticking in both his arms and legs.  We were told that we had to take things "one hour at a time" for the first 72 hours.  After 7 very long and scary days, he was able to come home, and suffered no long term effects from his early delivery. Today, I have two healthy and happy teenagers, and consider Mother's Day to be one of my very favorite days of the year.  On Mother's Day, I am not only thankful for my beautiful mom, but for my lifelong dream of motherhood coming true all those years ago.  It's been an incredible journey and I can't wait to see what happens next.  Happy Mother's Day!

Me and my kids, Jamie and Zach

I can say no, I just choose not to!

You know, I think we people pleasers get a bad rap.  In fact, my aversion to "no" has earned me the title of certified doormat from many of my well meaning friends and family members.  They think I say yes way too often.  That I need to learn to say no.  But the truth is, I CAN say no (like when the guy with the truck full of frozen meats offers me a great deal on steaks, or when my 16 year old wants to go to a party where there are no adult chaperones)...I just have a hard time when someone needs something I can easily provide, or when saying no would hurt someones feelings.  In the case of my store, I have a no return policy.  But when a customer bought a top from me, then discovered later that it didn't go with the pants she was matching it with, I made an exception and allowed her to return it.  She was ecstatic and very pleasantly surprised that I said yes.  And what did it really cost me?  We're talking about a shirt that was maybe $7 or $8.  But what if I had said no?  Well I would have stood my ground, upheld store policy, and proved to everyone that I am no doormat (and I'd be $8 richer right now, woohoo)!  I would have also had a customer leave my store on a sour note.  The fact is, really, that I say yes because I want to, because I choose to.  And yes, sometimes it is at my own detriment or inconvenience.  I have accepted clothes on consignment many times that I had to bring home and wash first to get a stain out.  But it's okay.  I am rewarded every day with happy consignors and customers who tell people how they are treated in my store.  And, I am sure in their conversations, the words pushover or doormat never come up.  I am neither of those after all.  I am a people pleaser, and proud of it!

Pinterest. My new thing.

So, Pinterest is my new thing...I know, I know, I've been living under a rock, but I just wasn't all that excited about jumping on another bandwagon (I'm not normally a bandwagon jumper).  Anyway, a Facebook friend sent me an invitation a few days ago, and I am amazed at how much I love it.  I thought it was just another social media site, but it's so much more than that...It's part "Bucket List", part "to-do-list" and part "gratitude journal".  I am by nature a list maker.  A planner.  A sticky note queen! But I have never started a gratitude journal (that one was still on my to-do list).  So when I started playing around with Pinterest, I created a couple of boards (like many of my friends had) called My Favorite Things and Favorite Places and Spaces.  I immediately added Ms. Mulligan's of course to favorite places and Disney World too.  But after that, I actually looked at my husband Joe (who was rolling his eyes at what he thought was another cyber-waste-of-time) and asked "What would you say is my favorite restaurant?" and "What are some other things I like?" I mean, should it really be this difficult to come up with my favorite things?  It was like at Thanksgiving when you go around the table and everyone has to say what they are thankful for...Family, Friends, Food, Home, God.  Those are the easy ones, but beyond  that, I really had to think.  I consulted my actual paper copy of my bucket list and found my car - the convertible I wanted to own before I died, and bought a year ago.  I also was reminded that I want to one day run a marathon, so I added my running shoes, but that was all the help I got from my bucket list.  Then an unexpected (and amazing) thing happened.  Over the next couple of days, I encountered many of "My Favorite Things" and actually took notice of them. Things like the beautiful, colorful sunsets in the evening that I absolutely love, but had never thought about in terms of favorite things.  I recalled the little things that make me smile, that make me happy, that make me, me.  I found myself saying, "I need to pin that" when I walked by my flower bed and "remembered" that I LOVE palm trees,  when I looked through recent Mother's Day pictures of my family at the zoo, and how much I love feeding the giraffes - one of my favorite animals.
I found that paying homage to "My Favorite Things" is extremely cathartic.  And sharing "My Favorite Things" is fun too.  Sometimes a friend repins a favorite of mine, and sometimes, like in the case of my Florida Gator pin, I can imagine my Georgia Bulldog friends gagging and boo-ing at the sight of it.  Fun huh?  Everyone should have a Pinterest Favorite Things Board.  I look at mine frequently and it always makes me smile.  I plan to continue noticing and acknowledging favorite things every day.  And this year at Thanksgiving, I won't have any problems when it's my turn!

Follow me!

Are you Ms. Mulligan?

I am asked almost every day if I am Ms. Mulligan.  Because of the name of my store, it's a very logical question.  My name however, is not Mulligan.  When I first started thinking about opening a consignment shop, coming up with the name was one of the first things I did.  I guess giving a name to my dream made it more real, more attainable.  But how was I supposed to come up with a name for my business?  Well, I knew I wanted something clever, but subtle at the same time - a play on words that didn't hit you across the face, but wasn't too much of a stretch.  Something that people would understand. 

I started scribbling down terms that meant second hand or second chance...I thought about "Second Time Around" and "Second Chance Charming" but didn't really like them.  I liked names like "Deja Vu" and "Encore" but those were already taken by other shops in my area.  Out of the blue, Mulligan came to mind.  I knew what it meant for a golfer to "take a mulligan" when he/she makes a bad shot.  He actually gets a do-over.   And I thought about we women and our closets full of "nothing to wear".  We tend to buy clothes because they are on sale or on impulse.  Or we love something we can't quite get into, but we buy it anyway, hoping to lose a couple of pounds.  So, when we get these clothes home, they hang in our closets unworn or unwanted. If we got a second shot, couldn't we call it a Mulligan too?  Women could sell their gently worn (or never worn) clothes, shoes and accessories in my store and start over.  And the dream was born - Ms. Mulligan's Consignment Boutique means a "second shot at a fabulous new wardrobe" for women all over the city. 

Parenting the Dream

I always tell people that opening a new business is much like deciding to have a baby.  You do all the research, read every manual you can get your hands on, take classes, go to workshops, seek advice from people who have done it before and plan, plan, plan.  You do everything you need to do to be prepared, and then Grand Opening Day comes and the fun begins. 
Much like bringing home a new baby, there have been long days, sleepless nights, and financial and social sacrifices.  I am at the store 10 - 12 hours a day/6 days a week, tending to the needs of my "baby business".  And every day, I learn something new that wasn't revealed to me in a manual or class.  I LOVE my new store and wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  And on the days when I stress about it, I think about my teenagers, and the journey we've been on...the sleepless nights when they were babies and the financial, social and emotional roller coaster ride we've endured.  And I am comforted knowing what great kids they are.  I now hope to nurture my baby business into such success.  I know throughout the years to come, there will be amazingly great days, and days full of worry and frustration in raising my "babies" and my "baby business".  And I'll enjoy the journey every step of the way...I am after all, Livin' the Dream!