The First Dream

My very earliest and most important dream in life was to be a mom.  I can still remember being 8 years old and making the declaration to my parents that I wished I was pregnant.  Clearly I didn't express this correctly, as I'm sure I was just trying to say that I couldn't wait to be a mom. (Perhaps I just figured out why my parents were sooooo strict during my high school years, hmmmm).

Anyway, as a teenager, I took advantage of any opportunity to be around kids from babysitting every weekend, to working in the church nursery and vacation bible school.  I wanted a family of my own more than anything.  When my Jamie was born nearly 17 years ago, it was the happiest moment of my life.  A year and a half later, Zach was born and it was absolutely the lowest...he came 5 weeks early and nearly died.  He was born, then quickly whisked away to the NICU to be evaluated and treated.  I sent my family to the hospital cafeteria and sat in recovery all alone.  I was supposed to be bonding with my new baby boy - instead I was completely terrified, angry and grieving.  When we saw him again later that night, he was on a ventilator and had needles sticking in both his arms and legs.  We were told that we had to take things "one hour at a time" for the first 72 hours.  After 7 very long and scary days, he was able to come home, and suffered no long term effects from his early delivery. Today, I have two healthy and happy teenagers, and consider Mother's Day to be one of my very favorite days of the year.  On Mother's Day, I am not only thankful for my beautiful mom, but for my lifelong dream of motherhood coming true all those years ago.  It's been an incredible journey and I can't wait to see what happens next.  Happy Mother's Day!

Me and my kids, Jamie and Zach